Square Pig in a Round Hole June 12, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Armored Saint, Metal Church

I sense a theme! I didn’t even have to dream up this dream gig — they were on the same bill. I like the apparent dissonance: battle gear and aggressive music on the one hand, holiness on the other. Is this what St. Paul meant about putting on the full armor of God?

Failed to Study

Parent: I have to say, I’m disappointed in these grades.

Kid: But Dad, I had band practice!

Parent: Well, that’s OK, then. Priorities.

Hello, I’m Sorry

Nametag that encapsulates northwest loser culture. Or a timesaving approach to relationships: get the apologies out of the way at the outset, before you’ve had a chance to do anything wrong.

The Second Hand Suits

As a big fan of secondhand stores, I couldn’t let this one go by. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to dress pretty well, which is a good thing if you’re a typical musician. Also, several scenes and one song in my novel The Gospel According to St. Rage revolve around the protagonist’s thrift-store aesthetic. Hooray for giving clothes new life!

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