Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 19, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

After spending a few hours at MoPOP signing and selling books as part of the Write Out of This World youth writing competition, I’m ready to get down to the serious business of celebrating band names, which have never yet let me down. Here are this week’s treasures:

Dust Bolt

Like a lightning bolt except when it strikes instead of frying you it makes you sneeze so hard your head explodes. Wielded by the deity of housework and allergies.

The Face of Loki

Meanwhile, the god of mischief is the leading candidate for deity of punk rock.

Poorsport

Run together this way, it can be something other than a sore loser. Perhaps a down-on-its-luck harbor town where everyone is equally impoverished.

Skeletonwitch

In case my new book (see below) does well enough to warrant them, I’m already planning sequels. One is likely to include as antagonist a skeletal hag called Old Mother Bones. This is her house band.

South Sound Tug & Barge

Although it might make it hard to google the band, some business names are hard to resist. This sound will tug you out of your seat and barge you into the mosh pit.

Shameless Self Promotion:

Karen at MoPop-croppedIn case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases next Tuesday, May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing and is available for pre-order now! Ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore or order from Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them. Join us for an online launch party on Saturday, May 26, 1-4 p.m. We will be live on Facebook for much of it, which will either be very cool or a total trainwreck. Either way, you’ll want to be there.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 12, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

On this Mother’s Day weekend, my spouse is visiting his nonagenarian parents and I’m getting to spend time with the one of our two offspring who still lives with us (all Marvel related: today was the Marvel exhibit at MoPop–highly recommended–and tomorrow, he’s taking me to see Avengers: Infinity War.) That doesn’t leave much space for rockin’ but if you want to take your mom to a show, consider one of these:

Dead Horse Trauma

In one of the unpublished novels in the backstory of my upcoming release, a pair of young people who don’t know they’re falling in love find a dead horse by the smell. It’s traumatic to be sure, but also a metaphor for the obvious attraction they’re both trying to ignore.

Dragged and Dropped

In which it is demonstrated that the past tense can turn a mundane editing tool into violent action.

Kulululu

Either a nonsense backing vocal or a sacred ululation. Possibly both.

The Trash Bags

Shine a spotlight on a common, even despised, object and it becomes glorious. (All their posts are in French, which only adds to the glory.)

Who Let Who Let the Dogs Out Out

This is not so much a band as a presentation but it’s still a great name: over-wordy nonsense that actually makes perfect sense.

Daughter+of+Magic+eBook+Cover+edit+1Shameless Self Promotion:

In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing and is available for pre-order now! Ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore or order from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. If you can’t wait till May 22, on Saturday, May 19, I and other Not a Pipe authors will be signing and selling books from 11 am to noon at Museum of Pop Culture (MoPop) as part of the celebration of their Write Out of This World youth writing competition.

As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them. Join us for an online launch party on Saturday, May 26, 1-4 p.m.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 6, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

20180505_125540.jpgI’m a day late because we spent Saturday on beautiful Whidbey Island, part of it on an actual farm. No pigs but lots of sheep and chickens, whose voices we recorded for future enjoyment. Meanwhile, the band names don’t stop even for cute little lambs.

The Beer Cozies

It amuses me that the prim, old-fashioned term “cozy” has come back, in association with beer. I’m even more amused that a Google search suggested longtime favorites and past honorees Tea Cozies.

Fifteen Stitches

This is why we don’t stage dive.

Froggy Fresh

Apt description of a May evening near a lake or pond.

Garage Heroes

I wrote a book about a girl who starts a garage band and gains superpowers, so this one is close to my heart.

Pink Talking Fish

If it offers you 3 wishes, say no thanks and toss it back. (Although it sounds like a fine product from Archie McPhee, this is actually a cleverly named hybrid tribute fusion act on the music of Pink Floyd, Talking Heads, and Phish.)

Daughter+of+Magic+eBook+Cover+edit+1Shameless Self Promotion:

In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing and is available for pre-order now! If you can’t wait till May 22, on Saturday, May 19, I and other Not a Pipe authors will be signing and selling books from 11 am to noon at Museum of Pop Culture (MoPop) as part of the celebration of their Write Out of This World youth writing competition.

As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 28, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Before I celebrate other bands, I need to share good news from my band, Your Mother Should Know. We released two new tracks this week and we’re pretty pleased with how they turned out. I present for your listening enjoyment “Fish Distributor”:

and “Ruined It (When You Hugged Me Back)”:

I think for the first time in almost 8 years of blogging, all 5 of my picks were playing on the same night. It happened to be last night so it’s too late to go out and hear them this time, but they are all deserving of applause. Watch for these in the future:

Bigfoot Formula

Like super-soldier serum but instead of turning you into Captain America, it turns you into Sasquatch. Better in a lot of ways.

Cold Soda

We had a couple of days this week where this would have been a legitimate choice. Less so today, but summer’s coming!

Head Band

Fashion accessory or boss ensemble of all ensembles? I suspect that would be harder than herding cats.

Sincere Engineer

The rhyme and the earnestness won me over. They look you in the eye and share the good news of thermodynamics and materials.

Teddy Bear Orchestra

The name evokes something that’s maybe TOO cute. Then you find out this is a band of robot teddy bears rocking out. Years ago I invented a robot singing group for a science fiction story, so there was no question of whether to include them.

 

Shameless Self Promotion: In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing and will be available for pre-order soon. As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 21, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This morning was filled with errands and gardening. Happily, we seem to have transitioned to the warm-if-not-dry part of spring, so it was actually pleasant to work outside. But it’s been the sort of week where we went out Thursday night and now take that as permission to hole up in our cave the rest of the weekend. Give my regards to the bands.

Future Usses

Bill and Ted after they learned to play. Also, I love the spelling.

How Are You, Fine, Thank You

I’m making an exception to my 5-band limit to include this threefer because I was willing to believe it was one band. All on one bill, their names form an entire small-talk conversation. (The Times listed them slightly out of order as Thank you, How Are You, Fine, which adds to the humor.)

Martian Cult

As a writer of speculative fiction, I’m always partial to a band name with a sci-fi vibe. Is this Earthlings following a charismatic leader from Mars, or Martians following an Earthling?

ScienceFiction

Speaking of sci-fi vibes … Searching old posts revealed how often I’ve used the term (17) even when not referencing this specific band. Even better–they’re on the same bill with:

Secret Superpower

Almost like someone put this bill together with the Square Pig in mind! (Props to Substation for finding 4 bands/performers whose names begin with S, too.) The protagonist of my garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St Rage develops superpowers, which she can’t keep secret from her bandmates, but “The first rule of superpowers is parents can’t know about superpowers.” They won’t find out till the sequel.

Shameless Self Promotion: In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing and will be available for pre-order soon. As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 14, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Movies always show mourners gathered in the cemetery under umbrellas in the rain. Until today I had never experienced that in real life. Unlike in the movies, the umbrellas weren’t black. In April in Seattle, even a rainy day is colorful, though more appropriate for indoor activities than out. Go hole up in a bar and hear a well-named band!

Bag of Hammers

Not to be taken internally.

I Don’t Know How but They Found Me

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m a sucker for a too-long name full of overwrought drama.

Outer Spaces

The plural form makes it seem to be about something smaller.

The Scruffs

Implies an unkempt appearance, but my mind goes to the carrying handle on cats, those most kempt of creatures.

Timeflies

You can’t; they move too quickly. (An old joke not original with me, but I couldn’t resist.)

Shameless Self Promotion: In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing. As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 7, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

In a major plot twist, last week’s mild head cold (which I thought would be over by now) revealed its true nature as a nasty chest cold. It’s bad enough that my list only goes to four instead of five. I don’t have it in me to look for a replacement for a choice that turned out to be an album title, not a band name. If you’re sick, too, please stay in and get lots of rest. Whiskey seems to help. If you’re not, by all means get out there but stay away from anyone with an ugly cough. I hope all members of these bands are in good health:

Aloha Mars

It’s fun to imagine a day when the Red Planet is just another travel destination.

Always Naked

Anyone else hearing the voice of Sam the Eagle? “Even the birds, under their fine feathers, are all …”

Medusa Stare

Don’t look now, but … Oops, too late. Turned to stone again. I hate when that happens.

Wolcott’s Instant Pain Annihilator

When you can’t lay your hands on an old-time remedy containing alcohol, opium, and cannabis, try music! Relieves the misery without the side effects. Might still be habit-forming.

Shameless Self Promotion: In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing. As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.